Setbacks Like Mushrooms

nervous

Hey!

Weird title, right?

These days I’m really in deep contemplation if should I work or not and it stresses me out. My head is sometimes aching about it. There’s this ideal in my minds but I lack in drive or that willingness to take a dive. In short, I guess, I’m being a coward.

But this tinsy-winsy of plight grow another dilemma to think about. Like, “it’s not my priority right now”. I want to do a lot of things, I want to practice a lot of things and if this idea consume too much of my time how am I going to accomplish, not everything, but most of it?

WHY IS THERE ONLY 24 HOURS IN A DAY?!

Not enough, for me. Not enough.

This happens whenever I overthink. From one seed, a lot of fruits keeps bearing and it’s just too much to handle. It scares me that whenever I overthink, I end up not doing what I planned. So that’s why I’m trying to just GO for it.

Yes, I’m going to think about it but I’m going to control myself to not be swallowed by that one idea. There’s a lot of things the world has to offer and stressing on one thing won’t help me to explore the other things.

xx

0316 // March-Mellow

I’m scared that you/ Won’t be waiting on the other side

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10 out of 53 || Movie Recommendation

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I don’t know how it happens but there are movies that for only first few seconds you know it’s going to be good.

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February Jukebox

// my bad! This had been in my draft for weeks and I almost forgot about it or just not in the mood to edit it. But I’m still going to post it because, why not. //

Personality Crisis

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Do you certainly know who you are? I mean can you just describe yourself in one word? Then good for you. For me, unfortunately, I’m still working on myself.

I find myself envy of people who already know what they want and who they want to be. Their living a ┬ádefinite life. The thing is this, I don’t know how to describe myself. I’m a lot of things, a bit of this and a bit of that. All I know is that I’m sensitive and moody.

Many tell me I’m moody. At first, I tried to deny it but eventually I accepted the fact that my emotion is not that stable. I’m the “in-the-mood” kind of girl. For instance, on Monday if I’m feeling classic I’ll wear something that’ll make me feel of the 80’s; or after i watched a shoujo anime I’m feeling cutesy and fix my hair like I’m one of those girls. You get it? I’m so adaptable to different things that I don’t even know if I’m really myself.

But you know what you shouldn’t listen to me. I mean who cares if you still don’t know who you are? Just do what you want to do or go for the things you enjoy and then you’ll know yourself. Because that’s what I’m going to do.

XX