I write with my heart out.
Is it cooked already?
Life is hard.
We all know that. We all feel that. It might come to each of us in a different way but the feeling, the impact is all the same.
Every time I know that the dark clouds are coming at bay, the little kid in me will get scared. Because the truth is, I’m still a kid. Despite of being at the age of having the right to vote and ruling my life in my own decision, I’m still a kid.
I get giddy when there are surprises. I get passionate in competition. I enjoy finger foods and licking my thumb. I still have my stuffed toys that are by my side at night. I still like drawing with stick in the sand. I still imagine I have powers to save the world or just to make myself believe I can be magical. There are lot of things that say and show I’m still a little girl trying to find her way in the world. The little kid in me is still there.
But there are time she needs to go. Whenever life smacked me with the truth that I now hold responsibilities and is entitled of things I do in my life, the little kid in me slowly creeps away. She slowly hides while bravery tries to cover my cowardly heart. I stand tall and speak mantras in order to uplift my hopes. The little kid in me is scared so she goes. But I am scared too, only I can’t go.
I wonder, why the little kid in me leave when we can face these troubles together. I wonder, why I have to lie to myself that I am this when I’m not. I wonder, why one of us have to go whenever sky lose its light.
This isn’t an excuse but an honest letter.