This isn’t an excuse but an honest letter.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. There are a lot of times an idea strikes and I feel so motivated to finish a book but I’ll end up doing nothing. And I’ll hate myself, all over again.
There are assignments, reports, deadlines, dreams, recreations I have to juggle. I have to if I want to make my life functional. Some says “enjoy life” or “go with the flow” but it doesn’t work for me. I go back thinking, “I should’ve stuck to what I planned” or “my life is so messy”. But still end up not doing anything.
I write stories in a very slow pace because I lose motivation most of the times and I often spend my time searching of tips to get better and figuring out what’s wrong. There’s also not much feedback to keep myself fueled up.
From all the tips I’ve read, there’s always “read a lot”. (Of course, because these two are like a team.)
I loved reading. Yep. There’s a ‘d’. I want to be honest with myself, because I admit nowadays I don’t enjoy it as much as I did back then. I do love books. I love feeling and buying books. But now I noticed that my ‘currently reading” books is piling up. And it doesn’t do any good to me.
So now, I decided to finish a book (for a month or a week) and make sure I write a part for my story or even a blog post every week.
I know it is so easy to say. So I’m going to track it. But still I’m not so sure if I’ll be able to track something. But this is what I want and what I need. And when I want something I should make a step to get there.
Additionally, I’ve read that “if you think you’re a writer then own it” (disclaimer: not the real words from the book). Say that you’re a writer. But in my case, I shouldn’t only say it but DO it.