Wishing for Careless Happiness

Everyone would love a short break from all the pain and troubles in life.

Perhaps, just a day to unwind and be careless and laugh impulsively. I would love that of course, especially after all the school deadlines and pressure trying to balance every aspects that psychology says are important to be a well-functioned person.

But I have this habit of being so conscious of my carefree days. I don’t know if it’s just my inner psychic or what, but I kind of sense that something bad will happen after. It’s not just me? Well, that’s comforting.

happy-sad
That kind of perspective is a burden to my heart. It’s like putting a chain to one of its vesicles and being monitored if my joy level is off the roof.

(I hope I explained it well.)

Like what I said, and if ever you also feel like this too, again it’s a burden for me. I have set boundaries in my own rest. I’m being so conscious unintentionally. I don’t like it but I can’t help it. The thought of the aftermath is frightening to me.

I’ve read that this kind of feeling is, can be, somehow, linked to anxiety. Well, I guess it’s pretty much is. Especially that I feel anxious in those moments and I do not force myself to think that.

I kind of analyzed it on my own, I noticed that there really is a pattern so maybe that’s where I got it. After I have let myself believed about the unfortunate analyzation, it got stock in my head and since then, have been a caution in my lifestyle. From the tiniest to the biggest happiness life could offer, it has been taken unappreciated. The fear is taking over my emotions.

Balance exists in this world. I, somehow believe the yin and yang.In every good thing there is bad and vice versa. It is interconnected to each other. It’s like two halves that when YinYangassembled, is one.

The bad stuffs are startling for me, and I guess for most of us. The idea of full bliss is appealing. Disney has showed his opinion about this matter. I hope you knew of Joy and Sadness and the gang. I loved the film, I hope you did too.

I’m still looking for some tips to eventually alter this belief. I’m aware that I’m the one who let my mind to think like this. I know I’ve said “unintentionally” but if I want to change this then it’s in my hands. Moreover, we deserve all of the bests (and worsts) in our lives.

“I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.” – Joan Rivers

xx

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